I've been 40 for about two weeks now, and I'm really enjoying it.
I feel young but not too young and then I feel older but not aarp yet. Like an established adult. Middleaged?? In my mind 1-39 is the bottom and 40-86 is the top. Last year I was at the top of the bottom, and this year I'm at the bottom of the top. I made it. I crossed over!
I finally got my shit together. I am officially, School! If you know you know. In case you don't, School is a term used by individuals usually from the hood, reserved for cool older gentlemen and Bad older women. Think old school. Ask a young man you know if there's an older woman at work he might mess with if given the opportunity. She sexy, looks good for her age, brings her lunch from home and it always looks good, fashionable, not really trying to keep up with the young girls but she's holding. She has her own vibe and it's nice. That's me. I'm School!
I'm all natural these days. No enhancements or alterations. I'm real from my hair down to my toes. The most I do is fill in my eyebrows. I stopped dying my hair, my edges are partially gray, and I rarely control them! I considered coloring it, and am still considering, but the way it is now is actually working for me. I get more attention from younger guys now than I did when I was young!
Occasionally I'll wear some lashes get my nails done or add touch of make-up if I feel like taking my look up a notch, but never for more than a couple of days. I don't knock it I just think it's too much work. I prefer a fresh face and some lip gloss, even in my forties!
I keep my body up. I exercise for about an hour a day. Cardio with Trap Fitness on YouTube, Weight train with some pins I found on Pinterest, and I do a little Yoga with Adrienne. When it's warm I go for a walk in the mornings after I drop my kids off at school. I eat well 85% of the time and I enjoy life the other 15%. I'm not vegetarian or vegan but I'm mindful. I decided I want to be fine in my 40's so I work towards it every day.
I drink a little from time to time mostly wine, and I smoke sometimes, weed not cigarettes. I'm casual and quiet about both. If I didn't tell you wouldn't know.
I don't attend church the way I did when I was young. I still believe in God Jesus and the bible. I now also believe that because the bible was written by human hands some words and some concepts may have been corrupted for personal gain. For that reason I believe God left us other tools to help us get through life with ease. I believe Astrology and Numerology to be a couple of those tools. I've created my own spiritual practice around my belief systems, tailored to my needs. I pray, I affirm myself daily, and I meditate to relax manifest and receive answers from my source aka GOD. Having my own personal relationship with God, separate from church, has given me a deep inner peace. I have a calm inner knowing that everything will work out as it should and I now live free of anxiety, and fear.
Not only do I look good and feel good mentally physically, emotionally and spiritually, I finally have enough money to mess around with nice perfumes, so I smell good too! This is important to me, because I read once that your sense of smell is closely associated with memory and since I've decided I want to be seen, heard and most of all remembered in my 40's I seek out fragrances I believe would be worn by Queens and Empresses. I lean towards sweet, powdery, fresh smells they make me happy and they work well with my body chemistry.
It's been said that I taste good too. I'll save the details of that for my adult only blog! It's called
PM Alford Unleashed should you find yourself interested. I will tell say however that I attribute my deliciousness to my water consumption and my propensity toward cranberry juice, craisins and pineapples as snacks.
I'm noticing I'm quite self assured at 40. I haven't always been this way. I used to shy away from talking about myself and my life for fear of judgement and for fear that I might appear arrogant. 40 flipped a switch in me, now I don't give a F$#%$!! Today I speak up about all of the positive things I have going on not to boast but to encourage others that life can be better! You can get to a good place, you can have good relationships. Happiness and fulfillment does exist! I have been on the other side, I'll share it one day I ain't shamed. I wish I had someone to tell me and to show me that better existed back then, I think I would be a little further and closer to my dreams had there been, but then I wouldn't be here for you. If you're reading this and you're feeling it, this was for you!
40!!! So glad I stuck around to see it. It's nice up here!
As always thank you for reading and I will see you in my next post!
Philena M.
PS...What are you like now that you've reached that 40 milestone? What are your thoughts on hitting it if you haven't already? And what is some advice you can offer if you're deep in it or looking back on it?
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