Philena At Home

I've been 40 for about two weeks now, and I'm really enjoying it. I feel young but not too young and then I feel older but not aarp yet. Like an established adult. Middleaged??  In my mind 1-39 is the bottom and 40-86 is the top. Last year I was at the top of the bottom, and this year I'm at the bottom of the top. I made it. I crossed over!  I  finally got my shit together. I am officially, School! If you know you know. In case you don't, School is a term used by individuals usually from the hood, reserved for cool older gentlemen and Bad older women. Think old school. Ask a young man you know if there's an older woman at work he might mess with if given the opportunity. She sexy, looks good for her age, brings her lunch from home and it always looks good, fashionable, not really trying to keep up with the young girls but she's holding. She has her own vibe and it's nice. That's me. I'm School! I'm all natural these days. No enhancements or alter

I wrote a book in 2017 just to see if I could. A soft voice told me to try it and watch what happens. I've learned over the past few years to listen to that voice whenever it speaks. It led me here to you. I wrote my first book really fast, in less than a month. The words ran out of me like water from a faucet on full blast. It was so liberating and fulfilling. For the first time I could remember I felt satisfied. I was able to tell the story  I wanted to tell freely without being interrupted because it was too long or boring for the people around me. I didn't have to dilute it for those who couldn't handle the language I like to use. I didn't even have to leave parts out for fear of judgmental people who tried to make me feel bad about my life choices.  I was able to be vulnerable when I wrote and I felt alive, like I had a purpose like there was something sleeping in me that had been awakened from years of hibernation.    I remembered lots of things while I wrote that