Hey! I woke up ready to talk, I hope you're ready.
I came up during the pandemic.
It felt like divine intervention. We were broke. Dead broke and struggling. We were living check to check off one income. Our budget was tight, but we were making it until some ass hole stole my husband's debit card information and went on a shopping spree somewhere in Kansas with our rent money!
It was like the smoking volcano finally erupted. Our landlord was an even bigger ass hole than the one who stole our money, of course and wouldn't give us an extension on our rent while we sorted things out with the bank. Now to add insult to injury we were facing eviction.
I thought I was going to break. It was like a never-ending cycle, but a voice inside me (I now know that voice to be my intuition/ the God in me, but we'll talk about that another day) said just wait and watch. Find an apartment move and watch.
We didn't have many choices, so I did what I felt and when I tell you there was a shift in our finances that very day.
It started as a little drizzle. My husband's job gave him an unexpected bonus. The bank refunded us all of the money that was stolen. We were able to move into an amazing apartment with one month free rent up front, so we were able to get ahead a bit. It just kept going and going and going. When I say we are better than we have ever been on this side of the pandemic it feels like an understatement.
Fast forward to now
Life is good.
You know how I said I've never experienced anything like this before... I mean NEVER.
I was raised on survival. I lived my twenties in survival mode. I had kids, and got married in my thirties, all while broke! I am finally able to relax and live a normal life and I don't even know what that means.
I have PTSD! My mom laughed when I told her, but when I shared my perspective, she cried. I hate seeing food wasted even in movies and tv shows. I won't spend money on myself, or on frivolous things aka anything we don't need. My husband says get your nails done get your hair done it's ok we got it now we're ok, and my answer is always no I can do it myself ..... I will never go back!!
This is a day to day struggle. Every time I think I'm okay something will happen like someone will invite us somewhere and I'll automatically make up an excuse as to why we won't be able to make it because I don't have anything to wear and I refuse to go out and get an outfit because you guessed it... I will never go back!
That struggle was real. Bouncing from couch to couch when you're single with no kids is one thing. I can't be bouncing from couch to couch with my kids and husband in tow. With things being so expensive it's really easy to end up in a tent or under a bridge.
We are nowhere near losing everything or anything for that matter these days. I 'm doing some major self work right now to try to heal and move forward.
When I'm not spazzing out because my kid threw away a half sandwich I'm working on a new project with my husband.
We took a little bit of our newfound freedom and invested in ourselves and have started a luxury picnic business.
I started a Mystery shopping and Merchandising company last summer to pay the bills, and it's actually doing pretty good.
That's about it except for the fact that I'm writing again, as you can see I guess. The blog is creating a little passive income and increasing our freedom.
That was a-lot of unpacking! I'm glad you were here to go through it with me. I'll dive deeper into some of the things I mention here as we go forward. What do you think so far? How are you handling things right now? Let me know in the comments below or on any of my social media.
Talk soon
Love Philena
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