Parenting. Wooooo!!!! When I say I think I was created for this job I'm not playing! I love being a parent! I love being a mommy. Of course I have days when I would prefer not to hear my name 300,000 times and I'd like to pee without that little knock on the door with the story of how Pop(my son) is jumping on the bed again, but I can't complain! I got the kids God created just for me. They're funny and kind. They're curious thinkers that would rather figure things out than cry in a corner and that makes me proud. They like music, and art, and reading interesting stories. They're brilliant (in my eyes) and I wouldn't trade them for all the money in the world. I am so blessed to have them, and grateful to my husband for helping me create them.
Okay now that I've made myself cry let me get to it.... Here are 5 things Parenting Has Taught Me
1. Forgive and Forget.... I'm a Capricorn so holding grudges is what I do! But as a parent although my kids push me to the limit breaking my stuff and laugh about it, pee in your face or on the fresh clean floor that you just mopped, eat the last cookie when you had your taste buds set on it, they even throw away your forks and have you thinking your friends are stealing from you when they come to visit! What are you going to do hold on to that forever? Turn that cute little face away when it comes in for a hug? Nope you say "hey hey little person cut it out man forreal! Seriously! Stop doing that (whatever that is)." You pop that little leg a couple times if it's something dangerous so they don't get hurt, and then you FORGIVE them and FORGET about it!
I'm a work in progress I will still cut you off if I feel disrespected but I think a little more before I do it... Was it really that serious?
2. Racism is Taught... and sometimes not on purpose Be mindful of what you say!.... ooooo I know that's a touchy subject but check out how I really learned it. After hosting a football watch party at my home my son asked "Why don't any white people come to our house except for our white cousins sometimes?" I had had a couple glasses of wine I was relaxed chilling at home, not drunk just feeling good, not thinking too deep, and I answered, "We don't have any white friends." Well we don't! Not intentionally on some racist bs just the place that life has led us. We live and work around black people. We have befriended black couples so this is who we generally hang out with. I didn't think much about it, just a quick little conversation with my son before bed late one Sunday night... regular life right?? WRONG! A couple days later one of my son's white classmate's parent approached me. He let me know that his son considered my son his best friend, and he was upset because my son hadn't played with him for a couple of days. Normally I wouldn't have thought much about it kids fight and make up all day long everyday, but I was curious so I asked my son about it. His response shook me, and had me questioning my parenting! He said, "Mommy you said we don't have white people friends." We talked and worked through it, but that was definitely a Lesson Learned. Sometimes people are horrible and teach their children to hate, and sometimes people are just people trying to live and be.
3. It's NOT all about me.... If having children doesn't drill this into you I don't know what will! When I was single with no kids I went to bed many nights without thinking about dinner. I bought shoes and bags for myself every time I got paid and I had people in and out of my house all times of the night for no good reason. I didn't realize how selfish I was until I had children. The first time I had to choose between kid shoes and a new purse I lost it! I went out and got two jobs to make sure I could buy both and all that did in hindsight is put things before the well being of my kids. I chose to give the time I could be spending with them away in exchange for more money so that I could buy more things for myself. My eyes opened right up the day I walked into the daycare and heard my sons screams from the front door. He had food allergies that triggered a painful skin condition and instead of comforting him the way that I would have, had I been there, the daycare teacher put him in a crib and threw a blanket over his head. He was about nine months old at the time. She could have killed my son, and the only person to blame in that situation in my opinion was me. I left my kids in the care of people I didn't know to work two jobs not just to put food on the table, but to make sure I could buy a new bag for myself. Selfishness at it's finest cured. I've been a stay at home mom ever since. Not choosing me all the time does not mean I'm neglecting myself it means I'm acknowledging that it is not all about ME.
4. Patience... I remind myself daily that my kids have never been here before. I have been here for 38 years and I learn something new every single day literally! Like I recently learned that I can make thousands of dollars just by saying I design and sell printable bullet journals click here to get yours. I've been poor for a long time I could have used this information a long time ago, and I just learned it maybe two weeks ago. So how can I expect my kids to know and understand everything I say, everything their teachers say, everything that's happening around them at any given moment, every etiquette rule in modern society, and all of the rules and values my parents instilled in me at 6 and 7 years old? I cannot! I have to be patient. I also have to recognize that this doesn't only apply to me and my children. No two people were raised the same. Some people weren't raised at all they just grew up. We think differently based on so many factors. We have to be patient with people, and with ourselves. We are all just people.
5. I have to show up for my life EVERYDAY... Before kids I would drive myself to work some days get there and wonder how I got there. I was on auto pilot doing what needed to be done. My body was there but my mind was somewhere else. I didn't notice how lost I was until that day at the daycare. Being a parent reminds you that you have to wake up and be present in each moment or really bad things can happen. Put the phone down, get out of your head, and show up.
Parenting has taught me likely thousands more lessons. It's absolutely a learning process. If you're struggling with it right now rest assured you are not alone! Keep doing your best, or start whatever no judgement here. Your kids will thank you!
What are some lessons parenting has taught you?